Sunday, February 07, 2016

nothing changes fast

So the deal is that I couldn’t get in to the bob marley thing, capacity crowd, and so I went home, but frankly I was tired anyway.  I had a bad day with the nausea thing, kind of made me not want to do much, but John came over and then we sat around, playing some music, having some fun, so it felt okay, that I didn’t spend all day alone, so that was a good way to find some way to get out of the loneliness.  I was hoping to see her at this event, but I also knew that these things always tend to be less fun than I imagined them to be.
  So that is okay.  I went out and excavated the far entrance, got rid of the leaves and looked at the branches, did more grass removal in the end of the house, and so it all looks good, so that is good.  I need to come up with a good drip line system for the watering in the next summer….  It might be possible to do that cheaply, but I don’t know.  Life’s hard to figure out at times, and we keep trying to find some good ways to get to know things.  I feel like she is the one I want to be with, but who can really say?  All of these things add up to something, but I spend many days lonely, and somewhat bored.  Still, I hope and have to keep trying with the music, get it figured out, figure out the direction and the intensities of things.  So there we go, never really knowing our destination but hoping for something good.  

  Other than that, I have a good time today enjoying the quiet ambience of the super bowl day, everybody home staring at their TV’s, and the streets quiet and the people figuring out their day, quietly, and staring into the world, kind of changing in a slow and fast way, and the problems of the day and the problems of social interaction and direction.  So the point being, the way being there, it’s okay, but at the same time, will I find somebody I can live with?  Maybe her, but that’s an assumption, I guess.  Best guess derived from how my impressions go with the interactions we have had, but nothing changes fast, especially to someone with two children.
   I was thinking about buying a Tacoma acoustic but can't afford it....My Flinthill is really good enough, and I can get some good sounds out of it.


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