Monday, January 27, 2020

new post

I leave for florida soon. The people drone on on the radio. All is weariness 

Friday, January 24, 2020

pro forma

Having to type in my writing through a cell phone merely makes things harder, but at least I always have a phone with me these days.  And nothing to type in. Just the silence and the long days going by with nothing to show for them. I live in silence, and there is not that much that can be done about that. 

  Something on the radio about people suing people.

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Dweeb

Trading insults over text message is a total waste of my time.  Most of my time seems spent on the couch, surfing the internet, looking for some data to fill in the immense loneliness that is my existence.  I spend most of my time contemplating the silence, vaping nicotine endlessly, drinking coffee, feeding the cat treats, and otherwise keeping happy the cat.
  It's a drag that I have such morons for friends, and the whole of humanity seems to have taken a different direction than I have.  I don't understand where I'm supposed to be or what kind of thing I am supposed to do, and instead just end up watching a whole lot of television.

Friday, January 17, 2020

Sorrowful attitude.

J: I was listening to a radio show about the underlying awareness of it all, and techniques for lucid dreaming, an eventual astral travel.
C: Shove it up your ass
J:The fuck is your problem?
  You can't move on?
  Be suck a prick about reality.
  Your getting nowhere, but into the same old rut you created in the first place.  I don't require negativity like yours to get by on a daily basis.
  Snap out of it!
  Just because I call3d you out for what I considered to be behaving as a gaslighter doesn't meant I think you are that way at all times.
  You're the one whom said you don't need friends like me for a hole in the head.
C:I need friends that don't irrationally accuse me of being threatening.  You didn't make the cut.
J:You need people to scrutinize your behavior when it's over the edge, and out of line.  Otherwise you'd just be a tyrant.  It's you who hasn't made the cut.
C:Shove it up your ass.
   Psycho
J:You've even given up on karate
  I don't like your attitude these days.
  Fact is I rarely likedit beforewhen you were acting some what sane.
C:Shove your sanity up your ass
J:Yeah, right, I'm the psycho here.
C:Yeah you've clearly showed that to be true.
J:You are acting irrational. Unreadonable. You sh9uld be ashamed.  You're supposed to be the elder in this situation but you act like a thug.
C:I'm not the one making irrational accusations.
    I really don't know what the fuck is wrong with your head.
J:You dwell in the negative.  You're a bottom feeder.
C:Shove the negativity up your ass
   I just find you mildly annoying.  Beyond that I couldn't care less.
J:Everything becomes ugly with you involved lately.  Your problem is you don't seem to have a conscience.
C:I don't take certain accusations lightly.
J:You are acting like a cocksmoker.
C:And the fact that you made them at all reflects badly on your rationality.
  You're like a little child
  I'm looking for friends, not head cases.
J:They weren't accusations.  I actually experienced your modern opperandum as to being that of a gaslighter.  Maybe you are hopelessly unable to get beyond it too.
  There is a reason oeople don't get along with you Chris, and you are unfortunateley continueing to show as to why.
C:You were accusing me of shit which is not happening
J:Saying I'm lile a little child is gaslighting you fucking idiot.  I give up on you.  Fuck off.
C:I don't need that treatment.
    Oh, now it's bothering you?
    I really don't know what's going through your mind.
J:Then don't bring it upon yourself moron.
C:Shove it up your ass, angry bear.
J:You are going on in my mind.  I said fuck off, and I meant it
C:Have a lousy day.
J:Youre the one who is angry and fearful. Demon possessed, and full of himself.  It's like your mind never matured out of puberty.
C:You're delusional and irrational.
J:I'll have what ever day I make of it.  Curse your own life fool.
C:Fuck you too
J:Delusional and irrational my ass.  You're just bored and pathetic.
C:That's true
  But bored and pathetic isn't a crime.
  You are a disappointment.
  You don't seem to even recall accurately the bullshit you were attesting to.
  I don't appreciate the accusations.
J:You probably don't even know what a gaslighter was until I pointed it out to you.  And that pissed you off.  Serves you right for having the attitude to begin with.
C:I know what a gaslighter is.
   I've never been a gaslighter.
J:I recal a fair enough to know that I'm tired of your winey woe is me attitude bringing others down.  I tried to put a stop to it but you had to go and be an unresolved sinner.
  I don't need people lime you in mu life either. Your fucked.
C:I guess we agree on that.
   Go see a psychiatrist.
J:Your reccurent attitude is sorrowful. Go sully someone elseses day.  And fuck the fuck off.
C:Yeah thanks for nothing
J:I tried to rectify tge situation but you were trying to make me apologize for calling you out on your bullshit, and so that was not going to happen.
  Nothing would be me not trying
C:That's not what happened.
  You made some wild accusations based on nothing.
  Which makes me question your judgement in general.
J:I've put more into trying to round out your rough edges than you have to be sure.  Your dad probably never had time to help you develope a decent personality.  Either that; or he didn't do a very good job.
  Judge not least though be judged
C:Your role seems to be that of insulting me in every way possible.
  You're not making yourself look good.
  My dad was a good guy.  He's a good role model.
  He wasn't going around insulting people.
J:Your shove it up your ass becavior called for it.  If you werent such an asshole about things..,would've different, but they are not.
  And I have a feeling they never will be.  So give it up.  Move on.  Find someone else to leak your rotting puss to.
C:You're not giving me a good reason for your behavior.
J:Leave me alone.
C:This is going to make a great story.

Monday, January 13, 2020



Another long day of nothing, staring out of the window from the couch.  I never leave, it seems, and the rain never stops falling.  The cat goes outdoors now and then.💬💬💬💬💬💬

Friday, January 03, 2020

----

Up late again, but not so late for me. Wondering what the facebook phenomenon will turn into. Wondering why I don't put subjects in my sentences. The brain waves that used to function in college seem to be long gone, replaced by the retained knowledge of typing and some long words. The cat is interested in the rain. Willie is singing Angel Too Far From the Sun. Each day seems much the same.