I moved into a group home called Sequoia house. There's some oaks nearby. It's okay but there's a lot of rules and restrictions. I'm going to make slow plans to get back into the working world, and that will take some time. The food is pretty much awful but there's not a lot to do about that but hope for the best. The social interaction and support will help me.
Friday, October 28, 2016
Monday, October 24, 2016
Saturday, October 22, 2016
I was in Janus house for about a week and a half and now and surviving at home for now with the help of my cat, NA meetings, free meals, playing music with John, mom, and of course karate and yoga and communicating with my yoga teacher and of course text messaging with friends and the facebook interaction doesn't hurt either, definitely learning slowly what proper internet etiquette is. I hate when people I like block me. Oh well. It's not like I don't have anybody blocked, but they're usually people I flat out don't like, or if they're people around town, I might be just tired of them and their music. It really depends, but that's life. I'm smoking a lot and I have to have enough money on the 29th so I can go see the Big Outside reggae band at Squirrel's which is a local tavern. Luckily I had some money on my Starbucks card so I could get in here and get a coffee. And thank gosh I found my laptop again, a Macbook Air, which was a gift from my brother. I have a 3400 dollar credit card bill I am not going to be able to pay.
So I'm being transferred to a group home name Sequoia house, and it will be just what I need, some structure so I can start looking at volunteering, which will be at Habitat for Humanity, an outfit that constructs homes for low income people. Carpentry is probably the way to go, at least as a practical skill. Spanish is a practical skill, but I need skills to combine it with, and Japanese, which was my main focus in college, is definitely not a practical skill, especially around here, but that's what it is. I liked studying it and translating literature in college, but I was living in a dream world. My first job out of college was delivering pizzas at domino's .....
Posted by Chris Farrell at 10/22/2016
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
I was in the mental hospital two weeks and then all this shit happened and then I was in a group home for a couple days so now I am home for a couple days and then hopefully will be transferred to another group home soon before I lose it again, so that's the story.
Other than that, the days are cloudier and the darker days of winter are definitely here. Fall anyway. So Halloween is coming up, but I won't make it that long if I have to stay in my house. I'd rather go to the mental hospital than go back to Janus house right now. So I'll go to a couple meetings, do some studying and some cleaning, and hopefully have dinner with mom.
Posted by Chris Farrell at 10/12/2016
Saturday, August 20, 2016
Posted by Chris Farrell at 8/20/2016
Friday, July 08, 2016
how sweet the wood shades the hot summer hours
and stretches oer my head its sheltering green
as I recline mid grass and cooling flowers
and seeded stalks of blossoms that have been
sure tis a pleasure in such secret nooks
to muse on distant friends in memorys eye
or glance on passages in favourite books
whose thoughts like echoes to our own reply
or shades recall which substance long forsook
from the black nothingness of days gone bye
blessings of infant hope and loves young bliss
ah thus to think the thoughts of death is sweet
in shaping heaven to a scene like this
with loves and friends and feelings all to meet
...as I lazily sit and jam and smoke on the Summit grass....
Posted by Chris Farrell at 7/08/2016
Saturday, June 25, 2016
Posted by Chris Farrell at 6/25/2016
Monday, June 20, 2016
Posted by Chris Farrell at 6/20/2016
Friday, June 10, 2016
How's your day going? I went to an n.a. meeting ...going to go home and mow the lawn. Funny, after that karate class we did up in Summit, I was talking about needing to go home to mow the lawn, and Shanti gives me a little smile and says something about going home to mow her own lawn. Funny. I think everybody liked the class.
Posted by Chris Farrell at 6/10/2016
Monday, June 06, 2016
I haven't felt like sharing anything personal. Actually there might be a thing or two. It's funny how certain events turn out to be not as fun as you thought they might be. Going out to see Space Neighbors at Tyee was a drag. I didn't like the place, and there weren't many people to support the band. Much different than their enthusiastic show at the Avery Park space. They aren't much of a band in that Nick Rivard and Navarro aren't the greatest, and the outer space and silliness and semi-funky funk aren't much really.
Too bad you can't hear Melanie sing. That's a shame. So anyway, I got out of Tyee fast.
Then there was the Bombs show. Melanie was funny with her guest list thing. I wonder if that was a joke or she was just messing with me to be funny, or another possibility, it had nothing to do with me.
So that's what it is. Enjoy life for now, not what might happen down the road, but it happened with Karen, why not again? Maybe a different life than I've really experienced thus far, although I have had a lot of good times in my life.
Posted by Chris Farrell at 6/06/2016
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Low Kindred Stump
-by Chris Farrell
Posted by Chris Farrell at 5/17/2016
Monday, May 16, 2016
Saturday, May 14, 2016
and leads a humdrum life indeed
as none beside herself would lead
and what wi’ hogs and ducks and geese
can never have a minutes peace
bangs down the yard thro thick and thin?
nor picks a road nor cares a pin
who (save in sunday bib and tuck)
goes daily (waddling like a duck)
oer head and ears in grease and muck
who used to pattins or to clogs
Who takes the swill to serve the hogs?
And steals the milk for cats and dogs
Who frost and Snow as hard as nails
Stands out o' doors and never fails
To wash up things and scour the pails
Who bussles night and day in short
At all catch jobs of every sort
And gains her mistress' favor for't
And who is oft repaid wi parise?
In doing what her mistress says
And yielding to her wimmy ways
For theres non apter I believe
At 'creeping up a Mistress' sleve'
Then this low kindred stump of Eve
Who when the baby's all besh-t
To please its mamma kisses it?
And vows no Rose on earths so sweet
But when her mistress isn't nigh
who wears and wishes it would die
and pinches it to make it cry
Oh rank deceit! what sould could think
But gentrly there revealing ink
at faults of this this friend must wink
Who, not without a 'spark o' pride'
Tho strong as Grunters bristly hide
does keep her hair in paper's typd
and mimicking the Gentry's way
who strives to speak as fine as they?
and minds but every word they say
And who (tho's well bid blind to seey stuff?
as her to tell ye A from B
things herself none o low degree?
who prates and runes oer still
...to be continued
talked to now deceased Valerie Tate for a week year before last on skype and she made me see nothing was really happening...thanks, I owe you for that, too bad it's too late to ever see the person ...such a great person and intelligence ....such a great perception. Oh well. I'd say a face from the past, but we never actually met outside of skype.
Posted by Chris Farrell at 5/14/2016
Monday, April 18, 2016
Old friend Alex asked me a while ago how I can do that "nothing happening" thing I do all the time. I guess it is a thing I do. It's a special quality that I have partly through karate and it's way of seeing things. Karate is really good at not speaking instead of saying something, and that changes things, somehow.
It's because pieces need to come back together before I might have things happening, like with a group of friends: and I think particularly of how much my Oregon friends would like my friends from Berkeley, if they were to meet. I can guarantee there'd be some frisky dancing, some Hendrix, a bit of Pink Floyd, and delve into the deep meaning ....I mean, get high and play some music.
I mean, I have things happening...karate, music, but ....I see why I had to get out of the Berkeley scene..... no place, etc.
But given that I might have been talked about a bit, so what? What good is that doing me now?
On the other hand, things aren't so bad. You could say that karate and family support got me to where I am today
Posted by Chris Farrell at 4/18/2016
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Posted by Chris Farrell at 4/17/2016
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
today in the countryside it was hotter than a crotch. I stood alone upon a hill and all I did was watch. I mean tried to, or something.
I sure wouldn’t mind seeing a naked female body though, that’s for sure. So that is what it is, and we go through strenuous battles to get through and make all of it an issue somehow. So there you go, and we all can appreciate most of this, I would guess. It’s nice to have Nancy as a new friend too, that is for sure. It's a drag I never see Karen too.
Posted by Chris Farrell at 4/13/2016
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Monday, April 11, 2016
except for this physical ailment, which has me worried.
Gordon Lee's place, past Blogette on old Blogette road, was really cool, quite magical like Summit, but he's in a really nice spot, kind of a low valley with the tumtum river right next to him, frogs, supposedly a swimming hole, but he's not gay as far as I know, but anyway, it sounded nice. We sat and played a couple songs and smoked his skinny little well rolled joints. It's so great to be out there when I can. Maybe next time we can get some chicks out there too.
He's a talented musician. He'd be great in our band, but anyway him and me can work on some songs.
I bought a 600 dollar Taylor acoustic/electric. I am sure I'll have chances to play, and I need at least a pretty good instrument, considering how great of a guitar player I am. Or better than some, I guess. But who cares...?
Posted by Chris Farrell at 4/11/2016
Tuesday, April 05, 2016
Posted by Chris Farrell at 4/05/2016
Monday, April 04, 2016
Posted by Chris Farrell at 4/04/2016
Saturday, April 02, 2016
Posted by Chris Farrell at 4/02/2016
Friday, April 01, 2016
Posted by Chris Farrell at 4/01/2016
Thursday, March 31, 2016
I'm watching season two of Fargo. Great show. Then there's Broad City about a couple of broads in the city, not able to take anything seriously, and then TPB, of course, and something else...so many good movies. I should watch Carlito's Way again.
And maybe some of those awesome japanese films directed by...forget his name. Ozu. Some good films..I can understand a few of the words....need to work on my Spanish too.
or speak it.
Doing karate together must be somewhat similar to dancing together..... something I haven't experienced, but I understand it's done. Togetherness is so important...for happiness.
Posted by Chris Farrell at 3/31/2016
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
Posted by Chris Farrell at 3/30/2016