life is suffering

Things are miserable.
Why does my appearance
seem to have a somber tone?
I wear the black for the poor and beaten down
living in the hopeless side of town
I wear it for the prisoner
that has long paid for his crime
but is there as a victim of his time
-johnny cash, "man in black"

That song kind of helps me out a little this day and yesterday, to help me to go from just feeling hopeless and tied and depressed to the point where I can go out and keep being able to sympathize with people experience other problems, perhaps more severe than mine, although they don't feel like it at this point. I guess that's the difference between problems that affect you directly and problems that other people have or that happen to other people.

As a dishwasher, I could easily lose my self-respect, but heck, why the heck should I do that? At this advanced age I'm more sure than i ever have been of who I am and what is important. Still, it is a scary world. I'm not sure I can trust my own mind, or necessarily be able to read the signs I need to read.

卯の花をかざしに関の晴れ着かな
Springs of verbena
thrust in my cap- such will be
my fancy attire
-basho

This reminds me of the dickinson poem that ends "perhaps I'll put a trinket on" which just goes to show, you can make a slight change and make note of the sun and life goes on.